How losing my dog changed the way I create memorial dog portraits

Jasper was my first ever dog, and I always dreaded the day that we would have to say goodbye to him. As most of you know, nothing can really prepare you for that day, but I knew how I imagined it would feel, and it helped me to empathise with my rainbow bridge dog portrait clients.

What I had expected

I knew that it would be hard, that much was never in question. I thought with the amount of photos that I had of him, and the clarity of knowing him, I would be able to hold onto all of that, but that he just wouldn’t be physically with me anymore.

The reality.

 When he did pass, it was a much heavier grief than I even anticipated. Six years on now, I still think of him every day and still sometimes get choked up talking about him.

One thing that I never thought possible, but I have experienced now, is that I worry about losing elements of him over time. Of course, I will always remember him, and what an adorable, grumpy, funny, wiggly, gorgeous boy he was. However, I do worry that the little details of his personality have started to fade. Funny or special every day moments are harder to reach than they once were.

The level of grief can be overwhelming

In a strange way, it’s almost reassuring to learn that other people have also been shocked by the level of grief that they have experienced when their dog passed over rainbow bridge.

The RSPCA ran a study about pet grief, and from 2,800 participants, they discovered that 67% of those people who completed their survey, admitted that grief had been much more intense than they had anticipated. ( *1 )

In addition, the BPS (British Psychological Society) discovered through their own study that 1 in 5 people actually find the loss of a pet harder to cope with than the loss of a human. ( *2 )

How it has affected my approach to my rainbow bridge portraits

Losing those little elements is why I started a glimmer jar for my dog Sadie, and it’s why I am so passionate about my memorial portraits. Each portrait isn’t just about the way that they looked, it’s about those big elements of their personality but also the smaller glimmers too.

The main way that it’s affected my approach is that I’ve always been empathetic about pet loss, but since my own experience with Jasper, that empathy is stronger than ever.

What has changed

Grieving my dog has changed the way that I approach my dog memorial portraits forever. Since Jasper passed, there have been two big changes to my memorial portraits because of that loss.

1)      It’s become even more important to me to discuss each dog’s personality with their guardian in addition to the forms, if the client wishes to. The more detail that I can receive, the more glimmers I can weave into their portrait, and the more special it is.

2)      I used to send a form unless the client seemed to be struggling, in which case I’d offer to chat instead. Now, I ask each pet tribute client how they would prefer to do the process. For me, the chat feels more personal, and I think sometimes easier when we’re talking about such an emotive subject.For others, it may be that a less personal approach is easier to get through. Everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong, so I prefer to be led by the client with the memorial portraits.

How I can help you

Of course, my portraits can’t bring our adored pets back. If I could have one wish, it would be that they could! But what they can do, and what many clients have found, is that in capturing those details of their personality in a lasting keepsake, it has helped to slow down that scary aspect of losing the finer details of who they were.

A photo is perfect for helping us to remember the finer details of the way they looked, but I have yet to meet a dog lover who doesn’t have a very impressive collection of photos of their dog! The thing that the memorial portraits can bring, that photos can’t, is  that in one single picture it creates the whole character of your dog. When you look at it, you’re seeing them, not just how they looked. The props that are added into the scene are also all meaningful to you, of stories you’ve told me about funny or sweet things that they did, and those in turn prompt more memories…

If you have had to say the hardest goodbye, and would like a personalised dog portrait that captures everything about them, not just their appearance, please feel free to get in touch when you’re ready. I’m here, and I’d love to get to know who your dog was, and create something that you will treasure forever. At your pace, with empathy, and in a way that you find the most comfortable.

You’re not alone

If you’re struggling with grief, please know that you’re not alone. As you can see from the studies mentioned in this post, dog grief can hit hard. There will be those who say that he or she was “just a dog”, but with more and more people viewing their dogs very much as family members now, most will understand. The Blue Cross offers a free service to help with bereavement, so I will post the link at the bottom in case you need it.

Helpful related links

Links to the studies mentioned in this blog post:

Study ( *1 )

Study ( *2 )

My rainbow bridge memorial portraits page

Blue Cross pet bereavement if you are struggling with grief over losing your dog, the Blue Cross offer a free pet bereavement service.